


162. rush

by piggy09



Series: The Sestre Daily Drabble Project [70]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 19:51:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7984060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/pseuds/piggy09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which we all pretend that Helena spent longer than fifteen minutes zip-tied to a pole in Siobhan's basement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	162. rush

**Author's Note:**

> Don't think too hard about it.

Helena has been tied up in this basement for what the thinks is about eight and a half hours. She keeps telling Sarah that she has to use the bathroom, every time Sarah comes down, but Sarah only believed her one time and every time after that she’s just said _well you can piss yourself then, can’t ya._ Helena keeps telling her anyways. It gives Sarah a reason to stay down here just a little while longer, more seconds for Helena’s heart to pound itself bloody against her ribs singing:

_You’re my sister. You’re my twin sister_.

That’s her! It is! It’s Sarah, like Helena always knew it would be. Even before she met Sarah – she knew it would be her. And every time she sees it she remembers, again and again, a rush of blood to her head, a rush of blood to her heart. She wishes Sarah would stay. She wants to bite her neck until it bruises with Helena’s toothmarks and everyone in the whole world knows who Sarah’s family is.

Footsteps on the stairs. It’s Sarah again.

“Sarah,” Helena says, “ _sestra_ , sister.” She pauses. “I have to use the bathroom.”

“No you don’t,” Sarah says.

“I do this time,” Helena says, tilting her head as much as she can on the ground and in zip ties. “I promise! No lying. I will use your toilet and then come right back down and you can tie me up again.” Her tongue licks over her teeth. She arches in the zip ties, shimmies a little bit. Sarah doesn’t move a muscle. That’s not very nice.

“Yeah,” Sarah says. “Right.” She doesn’t move. She’s just standing there, watching Helena. Helena watches her back while she can. The lights in the basement make Sarah’s hair a pretty gold where they touch it. Helena would like to also touch Sarah’s hair, and make it gold, but Sarah is far away from her and so she can’t. Sarah is wearing a shirt that looks soft, and Helena can’t touch that either. Overall it’s very unfair! Helena would let Sarah touch _her_ shirt, if she wanted to.

“Why are you down here, sister?” she says. “If you aren’t going to let me—”

“Will you stop talkin’ about piss for one _bloody_ second,” Sarah says, and she looks like she’s about to go back upstairs again and Helena says hurriedly: “Okay, Sarah, okay, no more, I promise.”

She must sound as desperate as she is, which is: very. Sarah stops being stiff and looking like she’s going to run away. Instead she pulls up the chair again. She’s so tall like this. Helena could press her face into Sarah’s shoes, and she would, if Sarah would untie her. She would kiss Sarah’s knees. She would be so good to her, if Sarah would just let her go.

“What are you looking for?” she says, voice soft.

“I don’t understand,” Sarah says, words bitter. “Out of all of us. I don’t get why it’s _you_.”

Oh, that hurts. Helena doesn’t show it, just lets a smile curl around her lips. A big big smile, to hide how much that hurts her.

“Because we’re connected,” she says, like a teacher reminding Sarah of a lesson she’d forgotten. “We’re—”

“Helena,” Sarah says patiently, “that’s not _real_.”

“You’re _wrong_ ,” Helena roars, and it’s only until blood trickles warm onto her hands that she realizes she has yanked against the zip ties so hard that they’ve cut into her wrists. She leans back again, fast. Soft! Gentle! Not a threat to Sarah, not at all, she’ll _never_ convince Sarah to let her go like this. Never.

“You’re wrong,” she says again, more gently. “You could feel it. You _said_.”

“I lied,” Sarah says bluntly.

“No you didn’t,” Helena almost-whispers. “You’re lying now, because it scares you. But you don’t have to be scared, Sarah. I love you.”

“Oh, god,” Sarah scoffs. “Great. You don’t even know what that word _means_ , Helena.”

“I do,” Helena says. “It means me and you. Forever and always.”

If she pulls against the zip ties very hard she can slide down enough to bump her foot against Sarah’s; she does. The feeling of her foot against Sarah’s foot is one of the top five feelings of her life, after hugging Sarah but before the food that Sarah bought her at the diner.

Sarah looks at their feet. She looks like she’s going to cry. Helena sort of wants her to cry, just to see what it would look like. She thinks it would look beautiful.

“Why did it have to be _you_ ,” Sarah whispers again, but: she presses her foot against Helena’s foot. So Helena thinks, maybe, that she understands.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please kudos + comment if you enjoyed! :)


End file.
